Its what keeps the soul full

I will be trying out for Quartz Mountain. I am scared out of my mind. If I dont get in, I wont be upset though. Sure, dissappointed, but I know it is not the end of writing for me. It just tells me I need to broaden my sights for it.

I went over to my Dads today, whom I havent seen or talked to since Christmas. The sad thing is, is that he lives 3 miles from my mom's house. He wanted to make beef bouguinonne (sp), which is the most delicious meal Ive ever had. One thing that dad has going for him is cooking. It was nice too, because he wanted to know about my breakup. Talking with him made me realize, I havnt talked to a guy about this before. Its always been girls. He gave me a good perspective on things, and now I dont expect much more. It sort of finalized what has really happened. It helped me, in a way move on. Dad made me realize that I can love him enough to let him go. He needs to find himself, find who he wants, find happiness. It is nothing I could have helped with and I hope he finds it. I hope he finds a girl who can inspire him to grow and love and see the sun in the sky and smile. Just as I hope he wants that for me. I think we all desperately need that. Well, maybe not need... We all desire. As I have found out, we can all survive without them. We can survive, but it is a deprivation that no physical, tangible force could inflict.

Love is what keeps the soul full. Intellect, keeps the conversation interesting. That is what I have concluded from past posts.


My dad started a fire, it made that hissing sound that can only be associated with it. The crackles, heard in dreams and stories, are right here in my living room. Some how, I find solace here. Its a comfort from childhood. A warm blanket, creamy hot chocolate, the breeze smelling of wood and sunflowers are all that are taking up my thoughts right now. It was so much simpler back then. No tormenting thoughts when no one is around, or night terrors, leaving you cold and covered in sweat. Sheets tangled, so tossled and wadded that you swear there was someone underneath them.Instead, the fire and about five feet around it is the only thing you can see. Everything else, vanished into the night's embrace. Every now and then, the howling or rustling of a nearby monster makes contact from the outside world. You are only safe because you are with your dad. Who, above anyone else, will protect you from your own imagination. Who, above any other guy, will always have your heart.