Starting up again.


Im currently at TU right now, and I am so glad I transferred. OU just wasnt for me.
I work about 3 jobs right now along with 16 hours of school. I essentially have no life. I feel pretty lonely today.

In highschool, I had three really good bestfriends. Sat at lunch together every day, after school, etc. I felt as if nothing would seperate us. Well, life choices were made and the three of them are still very good friends. I, on the other hand, am some what alienated. I would go into detail why, but it is no use. I admit I did some wrong. I should have followed through on a promise of a baby shower, but I never expected to not talk to them EVER again. My life is just going in a different direction than theirs I guess. It is just so, so sore. I hurt when I think about them. Not because I necessarily need them back in my life, because honestly they are happy and I wouldnt disrupt that, I hurt because I dont feel that bond with any one now. I want that lifetime friendship. I am utterly happy with my boyfriend of three years... but I still need a girl bestfriend. That person I can talk to about anything. That will be my maid of honor, be a lunch date every tuesday and shop, and talk and laugh and... yeah. I am slowly getting better, I have wonderful people in my life, kately, josh, sarah, becky, marissa, sarah, and kelsey. I just wish I had that bond like I had with them.

Wishing never got anyone anytwhere though, and I have been moving on. It just sucks every now and then.