Cold Medicine and Xanax.

Quick catch up:

I have been in a daze these past few days. I have the worlds biggest sniffles. People in Texas can hear me. Cold medicine has become my food of choice, and Xanax my sleep buddy. I found out grandfather pipes arnt as cool as they look. They are high maintenance for sure.

It rained the other day. No, bigger than that, it was God's biggest break down. Puddles and puddles of water everywhere. It didnt even smell good, like good rain does. For the first time, I got splashed by a car. I didnt get wet though. It just took over my windshield and almost caused me to wreck. I literally screamed in my car like a killer just opened the door, and stopped, looking around to realize that it was just water... I was embarassed. People were laughing. I was just really surprised.

Speaking of which, the strangest thing happened today. As I was waiting in traffic to turn onto the highway, this SUV next to me started honking. Kids in the car (about my age but with sideways hats...) started pointing at me. One opened their door and tried to get into my car. I dont know who they were or what they were trying to do but all I know is, I got out of there quickly. Weird, weird, weird.

Strange thing, relationships are. One moment, its strong and encouraging.. and the next it is a complete failure. No communication. I have realized something. I think those people who cannot get up and forgive what has happened in the past, are too afraid of looking at the future. Grudges are held with such force, it takes away from now. A lack of color, if you will. I looked into someones eyes the other day, and saw grey. It made me really sad to see, because a couple months ago, they were the brightest eyes. I believe the eye is a window to your inner soul, or whatever. I hate saying heart because I only think of the shape instead of that real being inside you. I havnt come up with a name for it yet. Its your soul... but closer. My eyes, have become duller as well, Im afraid. The prospects of college and change in my life has caused it so. I think, that they are changing colors, instead. From a bright blue, to a more intense one. Strong one. I dont know. I am not the same person I was, not two weeks ago. I am stronger. My (whatever) isnt broken or destroyed, the stitches have only been loosened.

A hurt soul, leaves more room for love. A soul never cracked, is the most sad indeed. Because of all we go through, including my self, I know what it means to put yourself at risk again. That is when you know you love somebody. Truly love. When after all you've been through, you still take a chance. I appreciate that in anyone.

Enough about that. I havnt heard from University of Puget Sound yet... it makes me... wait. Fast forward please.

ElK