Something Different

I got in trouble today for hugging a friend in the hallway. Granted, maybe this friend is my ex... but still! we are friends now. He was upset and needed consolation. A hug from someone who cares... alot. Then our director came up and started yelling at us. Said that we need to stop. Stop what? Being human?? I cant tell you how angry I was. Tears were streaming down my face in band. I couldnt even watch him direct. It started to make me think. I find that, now, affection of any kind in a semi public place is a carnal sin. That touching another, whether it be holding hands, hugging, standing close, etc. is dangerous and could possibly burn out your eyes with lasers. It makes me depressed. We are human. I need contact with others. If you met me in person, I can come off a little touchy. When I talk with you, I might reach out and touch your arm. No, not in a creepy way, but I just have to connect. I hope this doesnt come off wrong. When I say goodbye, I would like a hug. Is that so wrong of me? When I cry, I want a shoulder and a hand.




3-24-10



Touch
the heat from your oily fingers
gives me more soul than that stack
of bound papers. More than the words
detachedly typed for a mass audience
who dont really care where they came from,
only to show that they have soul too.

It is the -How are you- droning
in my ears from blank faces that
makes me lose hope in myself.
Give me a hug. Embrace me.
I fear my ribs are losing balance
from my teetering, feeble feet. I need
someone for support. Give me strength
with a kiss, bring the color in my
cheeks. So ashen, so dead.
How can you live in your space
with no one to invade?

Invade me.