Friday, November 18, 2011

So, here I am at the desk tonight. I cant say I can complain because this is much needed alone time. I need to evaluate things in my life. As I always say, but this time I mean it. I have Gone With the Wind and the Jerk right next to me, beckoning me to watch them but I am just not in the mood to carry my emotions into a movie. I seem to always do that, in ANY movie. I dont know. I dont know how I feel about a lot of things. I had a nightmare last night that has clung to my ankles, pinching my calfs every now and then, telling me that it is still there, that feeling. The disgust I hold for my self when I think of friendship and what the really means to me and others. How I could have been alot better, but they could have been a lot nicer too. I always find a way to blame myself, and self loathing dreams dont help one bit. I hate when I have those, the person that points out all my flaws is usually someone in real life who can hurt me the most. Ive just lost all hope in this and I really just want to forget about it all. I cant be everything you want me to be, I can only be me.

True friends are there for you no matter what, through thick and thin.

2 comments:

  1. Hi how are you?

    I was looking through your blog, and I found it interesting, and inspiring to me, so I thought why not post a comment.

    I have a blog also obviously and would like to invite you to become my blog friend...

    I mostly post about the South West experience through the perspective of personal writings, and my art.

    Maybe you can become my friend, and follow, and I can also follow you, if that is okay.

    Well I hope to hear from you soon… :)
    Jesse

    ReplyDelete
  2. Why thank you!

    I definately will, I looked at some of your blogs, and I have to say, I truly enjoyed them!

    ReplyDelete