Pocahontas told me to do it.

Well... its 2011. I know its redundant to say because who wouldnt know. Everyone knows as of today, the second day of the new year, and to top it off its a Sunday. Sunday's are the worst for me. Always. Its not a choice for me, its a garauntee. I sound like a Sunday miser, after all it has sun in the name... yet it seems to always show the opposite to me. I dont really cause it or look for trouble on this particular day. Trouble and grief always finds me. (points for cliche statement).

So, this first important few days of the new year alows people to step into retrospect of their past one. Examine, regret, marvel, etc. I jumped into the band wagon as well and looked back. All my previous posts were from 2010 and I must say most of them are depressing. I find myself blogging most times when I am sad, angry, contemplative and cynical. However, today I am almost emotionless. Its as if the new year granted my wish and said, "Here Erika, smoke some cigarettes, look back, and thank god you dont feel anything today." Im not really numb as I would hope to describe this emotion, its with out color... but it isnt numb. Maybe objective nostalgic, if those adjectives even make sense. Im so glad its a new year, hoping for new things. Yes yes. Last year... 2010... was a very calculated lesson for me from some higher power I believe, what ever that that power is. Or like Pocahontas, the wind taught me and mother tree delivered with great enthusiasm. 2010 was like chapters of a thriller kids book. Started out scary, frightening and made me grow from three foot tall to five foot tall with a sports bra. Then tragically sad, with only ham to feed me and wonderful friends to support my ongoing journey. Summer kissed my skin and was really the only kiss I got. August jump started my heart and made me feel loved again and as all kid stories go, it ended with a happy ending to chicago and alchohol poisoning.

To patrick: I love you so so so much. I want nothing but happiness for you and I am so lucky to share our lives together. You are my best friend and lover.

Ive written alot, but for some reason i feel really shy in sharing it. Maybe Ive made it wayy to personal, but maybe something light hearted will come to me soon. Something that has nothing to do with me.

Things I am not resolution-ing about but just want to do for this year list


Mandolin fixed and play
More and more dresses
work hard on finding an internship for tea
write alot more
quit snoring after I drink
sneeze more, because i like it
visit a beach
read some classics
adventures